(patient moans) – Your breath smells like shit. (light whimsical music) – I spend all this time and
energy working on your teeth and you won’t even smile at me. – I can tell you flossed this morning and not a single time before that. – Now you don’t need this
many shots of Novocaine but I’m a little hung over
and I might mess up. – I like asking you questions
when you can’t respond ’cause I think it’s hilarious. – You know I’ve always found the human mouth a disgusting place? – I could take care of this
in 20 minutes right now but let’s spread this out
over three appointments. – To be perfectly honest, I
hate going to the dentist too. – I never go to the dentist. – Feel those little chunks in your mouth? That’s your shattered teeth. – How come you never ask me any questions? I have a life. – Oops. That wasn’t the right tooth. – Do you want bubblegum or mint flavor, because you’re an adult? Bubblegum. – It really doesn’t matter
what flavor you choose, they all taste like wiper fluid. – It’s just gonna be a tiny pinch. – [Patient] Ow. – Of excruciating pain. – I hate Finding Nemo. – Suction. (suction tool whirs) (laughs) It’s never not funny. (teeth clack) – Bite me again and I’ll smack you, I don’t care if you’re five. – This guy’s got a nicer smile than I do. You’re gonna need braces. – She does all the work,
I’m just here for show. – Four out of five dentists
agree that you’re an asshole. – You think this is scary?
Wait till you see the bill.